Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Backyard conversations

The cubs and their friends are running in the backyard.
Suddenly they all stand still and start staring at each other.
They stare, stare and stare until my nerves crack.

Me: What are you actually doing there?
Kids: We are playing the Midas' arm.
Me: Oh, well.. erm... That's fine. [sit down thinking where did they catch that]

Strange man: [steps out from the bush behind]
There are bootleggers in the forest!
Me: [try my best not to scream] Really?
Strange man: [goggles at me and walks behind the corner, comes back, lights a pipe]
Paul Anka.
[goggles at me, mumbles something which sounds like an unpronounceable name for a woman and walks away]
Me: [try my best not to scream again]

J: [comes and sits by me] Mum. Do you remember K? (a girl from kindergarten)
Me: Yes.
J: [slightly annoyed tone in his voice] K and T (a boy from kindergarten) got married in the bushes.
Me: Really?
J: It's ok. I was the matchmaker. [leaves]
Me: [try my best to think how old he was]

J: [comes back] Is it true that women like funny men?
Me: Erm, yes I suppose, or not. I don't know. [try not to scream again]
J: [in slightly annoyed tone again] I'm going to marry you then.
Me: Erm... [try to think what an earth it is supposed to say in the situations like that]
J: [stares at me ]

A: Mum, can I sing to you?
Me: Go ahead. [relieved and pleased]
A: This is called 20 Odes to the Burps. [starts to sing from an old Christmas carol note]
Hei mippomapponen burp hei mippomapponen burp hei mippomapponen burp...
Me: Thank you it was lovely...
A: [happily] Can I have the Crazy Frog dvd then?
Me: Erm, I don't think so.
J: [stops staring] If he can have it, I want the Jack Cousteau dvd box. It comes with a red cap.
Me: [gaze into the distance]

9 comments:

First Nations said...

yo!
the ode to burps in finnish was just the dadaist touch my morning needed!
*cracking up*

taigathefox said...

Hey, welcome :)
Likewise your fantastic story of Judith and Holofernes made my day.

mimi buzzard said...

Your kids sound cool! Your stories about them are always very funny.

taigathefox said...

Thanks. They are so full of energy and have a superb imagination. (Sometimes it's rather annoying, too :)

occasional poster of comments said...

It's sometimes like kids have this magical world to which you're not invited. Except once you had it too, and now you can't seem to get back there, but can't work out why or when you got locked out.

[hums Tom Waits' I Don't Want to Grow Up quietly to himself for a while]

Your encounter with the strange man reminds me of when someone jumped out from an alley at me, raised a particular vegetable to his ear, exclaimed "Look, a cauliflower ear", then chuckled and disappeared back into the alley. He had a great big bushy white beard and mad hair. Which is irrelevant, but was quite impressive at the time.

occasional poster of comments said...

Another Green Wing person being interviewed by The Guardian. Sorry, not JRT.

taigathefox said...

I don't know what an earth woke me up so early in the morning today, but I decided to have a walk with a dog and saw the same strange man again. There he was standing and shouting near the pharmacists.

I haven't told you of the Grey Man of Hakaniemi yet? Must post the story some day...

The cauliflower-ear man sounds scaringly amusing, just like Sue White. Thanks :)

Interpreter Pavlov said...

Oh, but this is rich stuff, something to look back on with pride in 2033, bootleggers, bushes, burps and all.

taigathefox said...

J sent you his best wishes and said: "I am as clever as the Darmadian black, hairy dragon". (whatever that is)