Thursday, November 30, 2006

Saga Superlonica 5: Bake the nut before you ho-ho!

Aristotle Catfish: May I say that was highly enjoyable little barcarole, but just stick it in the oven, Mr von Strahl.
Stejar Strahl: Pardon, stick what where?
Aristotle Catfish: The red nut, stick it in the oven.
Stejar Strahl: Why is that?
Aristotle Catfish: Listen carefully, my comely-faced copper, if you burn the nut you will turn to be your father.
Eiseemi Laxi: Is this the red nut?
Stejar Strahl: But I don't want to be my father. I don't even know him. There might be hundreds and hundreds of rather short, but so jolly men around the village of Superlon, where they gave a key to my jail, but the very next day they gave it away...

Aristotle Catfish: No! Don't burn that! It's Mr Mac Piggin Buckets, not a nut.
Stejar Strahl: What a shame, it looked bit like a tiger...
Aristotle Catfish: Yes, that's what they all say, but there's always a small redhead clown inside Mr Mac Piggin Buckets. Well, there was one. But now...
... no we will have to take a flight to Embololalia.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Plop of the Week

Mr Fox + canon = Helsinki!

Plop = an onomatopoeic term for the sound of an object falling onto a surface or into water.

Great. Bloody November.
[Note to self: Be more clear]
Great. Buggerin bloody November.
[Note to self: Use understandable language]
Moan moan whine whine blah blah bloody November.
[Note to self: Be optimistic.]

So. Here it goes again.
Here is Mr Fox. Yes, that one. Say hello.

Another update again:
Because this went all ploppy, here is some poo.
That means I uploaded few new photos as well.

elk poo
Originally uploaded by Taiga the Fox.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Fox searches for self and drops an earplug in a martini

Start wearing purple shouts a bearded skinny man and Taiga Fox avoids the hitting fist of a tranced dancer boy.
She wears black and listens to the angry man singing furiously Love is unkind Love is unkind Love is unkind It don't like nobody It don't got no friends.
A naked rubber doll flies through the air.
A young boy wears a pink t-shirt with a text Youth against sudoku.

The old cable hall is filled with sweaty teens, sweaty wanna-be-teens and hundreds of black clad people smoking. Taiga Fox wants a drink.
Mr Fox: What do you want to drink?
Taiga Fox: A dry lingon cider without ice.
Mr Fox: I suppose it's going to be a lager.
Taiga Fox: Have you got any cash?
Mr Fox: Nope. Why? Have you?
Taiga Fox: Do you think they accept plastic?

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I'm quite done and almost gone

I still didn't find anything about that about me, which I seem to have lost somewhere.
If anyone sees it, please let me know. I will start searching it from here to here.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Me me me me me

I never thought blogging would be as hard as it has lately been.
Well, I could blame the polar nights and lenghty naps by the copier, but I'm blaming the About Me-thing.
What to write on that empty little box?
I am a Finnish Fox in the empty box.
I am a Finnish mother.
No. What was that I had before? Oh yes...
I am a mad Valkyrie kind of short and quiet person with tiny Moomin toes.
Oh bugger, I am too many and nothing to be described in that box.

My dear friend just pointed me how my profile is ever-changing and he's true about that all, but I'll just blame my everlasting musical crisis and Blogger, which started claiming me being a Blogger since August 2006. That wicked thing stole over six months of my life!
It was almost like that back in October 1995.

Taiga Fox: I have a doctor's appointment at 10.45.
A woman behind the desk: And your social security number is?
Taiga Fox: It's 27031988+444U.
A woman behind the desk: Could you repeat that, please? [looks closely at her megalomaniac sized computer]
Taiga Fox: it's 27031988+444U.
A woman behind the desk: I'm sorry, there is no such number.
Taiga Fox: What? How? Did you get it wrong or something?
A woman behind the desk: [repeats my social security number] No, I really mean there isn't such number. So you are not... [pause] .. alive or something.
[looks me carefully like I was a ghost or an illegal immigrant]
Taiga Fox: But I am here.
A woman behind the desk: Yes you are, but there really isn't...
oh wait,
sorry, I forgot to press enter.

It felt awful to be no-one, not living, for that short moment of my questionable existence, but now it would be so easy to be anything I ever wanted.
Why can't I just write just something on that box?
As far as I know, only three bloggers (Finnhund, Patroclus and James) would really know I wouldn't be telling the truth, because they have seen me in real life.

So here it goes:
I am 8,1 ft tall * blond cellist and have a PhD in feline psychology. I have an Afghan dog kennel and a raising political career in Japan, which amazes even myself, because I'm 17.

I have an online identity problem.

*Was that bit too much? Hmm, it might have been. Although few weeks ago I saw a man almost tall as that. But that would turn my online identity to be something like this, wouldn't it? Is she a woman or an animal?

Thursday, November 23, 2006

My blog posts are as short as the northern days.

The sun rises.
Damn, I'm lost.
The sun sets.

A quiet voice below the darkness: It's quite pointless and depressing, well... like I am, actually.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Three things to take with you when it's November in Helsinki

If you have to be in Finland on some Monday in November, make sure you'll have at least these:

1. A light therapy lamp (or two)
2. Gore-tex shoes
3. Some strawberry cake and two glasses of cristal castellblanch during the working hours

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Ooh-hu 2

I was spending my evening with ?
a) Lee Ranaldo and Leah Singer at AvantoFestival
b) Nick Cave at Finlandia Hall
c) A Fox and the Chickenbox on the motorway

Friday, November 17, 2006


I saw an owl sitting on the bus stop.

I wish I could tell you more, but I can't. More cans.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


Valokuvatorstain 25. haaste on valkoinen. Nyt on Helsingissä ihan mustaa, joten kuva on viime helmikuulta, kun valkoinen oli niin valkoista, että silmiin sattui.

icy swing
Originally uploaded by Taiga the Fox.

It's Thursday again and a time for a Photo challenge. This weeks theme is white and because it's all black in Helsinki now, I'm using a photo from last February, when the whiteness around us hurt our eyes.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Inside Taiga's Kitchen

The Story of Gunnlaug the Worm-tongue and Raven the Skald...

Taiga, don't play with the food!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A bus to home, around April 1998
Boy: Mom.
Mom: Yes?
Boy: What came after the Iron Age?
Mom: [silence] Look, there is a nice bird on the street.
Taiga Fox: [thinking] When I have kids of my own I will always answer their questions properly. Especially if I'm sitting on a bus.

A metro train to home, November 2006
A: Mom.
Taiga Fox: Yes?
A: Do people grow after death?
J: Why there are volcanoes?
A: Are you going to be Granny one day?
J: Is it possible to hit a knife onto the moon?
A: Did great Grandma know what happened around her, when she couldn't speak or see anymore?
J: How deep are the meteorite lakes?
A: Is the sun made of fire?
J: Can I have a magnifying glass?
A: How come it's possible that a fiery ball is hanging on the air?
J: How long does it take until the sofa is on fire?
A: Why do some people promise something and then they forget it?
J: Can I have a mobile?
A: What are the worms eating?
J: If I can't have a mobile, how am I going to make an emergency call if something happens to you and you haven't had time to tell us what to do in that situation?
Taiga Fox: [long silence] Look, isn't that a funny advertisement on the wall?


Sweet Father's Day to you, Mr Fox!

Friday, November 10, 2006

buggering blah (November in Helsinki 4)

Life is disappointing me.
I have nothing else to say.
If you still are hanging on there and reading this stupid blog...
.... let me introduce Paska. He is a bald angry man with a terrible name, terrible voice and an album Women Are from Venus, Men from Anus. ( NB. the page is in Swedish. Lyssna is to listen, köpa is to buy. Might contain bad language.)

Now I'm going to see Borat. You go and see some HelLooks. It's a project of Liisa Jokinen and Sampo Karjalainen, a man behind Habbo Hotel.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

November in Helsinki part 3

On my way back to home...

...I realised it's going to be Christmas soon. Do you know why there are some many Joulupukkis out there? You'll find the answer here.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Eat some cone!

The sick king's castle was filled with candies, cakes, balloons and presents.
J had 13 quests, who ate, run, puked and had fun.
After the treasure hunt, candy-fishing, dinosaur digging and usual headbanging, half of the balloons were exploded at 120 decibels and my brain felt like a monkey's bottom during the monsoon.

The guests were mainly boys, except Ella, who sat close to J and gave him a brand new squirrel CD.
When the boys were having a battle with a long, green plastic snake, she was writing a text on the Magna Doodle: Ella loves Lordi.

Few weeks ago J said Ella had kissed him whilst they were digging some sand.
Ella's mother told me later what she had said.
Mother: So, you like to play with J?
Ella: Yes. I kiss him because that's the only way to stop his never-ending talking.

Friday, November 03, 2006

I am a reindeer, lai-la-la-lai, A folk dancing reindeer, lai-la-la-lai (November in Helsinki part 2)

The title is the entire lyrics of the humppa song I am a reindeer by Eläkeläiset.

It's Friday evening, so let's dance some Finnish foxtrot:

The beginning of the humppa goes something like this:
Yössä kulkee hän
hilpeä on hiprakka
kateissa allakka
solmiossa hieman ketsuppia
noh tuli vähän kallisteltua
juurelta puun rannalta joen löydät arvoituksen
sitä pähkäillessä menetät karvoituksen

He wanders in the night
his tipsiness is merry
his calendar is lost
some ketchup on the tie
well, he did pour some.
Near a tree by a river you shall find the riddle
whilst thinking of it you'll lose your body hair...

Thursday, November 02, 2006

November in Helsinki part 1

Oh no, it's November.
This is the month I become cranky, moody, sour, not at all sweet and all-round bad tempered.
We have bad weather.
I am ill.
So are the others.

There are some Finn-fans living in the blogosphere. I let them say how nice music Finns make.
Yes, yes, I know about Husky Rescue, the Rasmus, HIM etc. etc. but I tell you something: It's not nice. We make bad music, like Helsinki Shitty Boy.

So, my dear readers, it's November and time to see what this land is all about.


Valokuvatorstain 24. aihe on valmis.

This week on Valokuvatorstai: Ready.