Sunday, March 18, 2007

Monish title - Moisten hilt - Miltonist he - Helotism nit - Limit honest

The good wife’s guide

· Have dinner ready.
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

· Prepare yourself.
Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

· Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.
His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

· Clear away the clutter.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

· Gather up
schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

· Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire
for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

· Prepare the children.
Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

· Be happy to see him.

· Greet him with a warm smile
and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

· Listen to him.
You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

· Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

· Your goal:
Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

· Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

· Don’t complain
if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

· Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

· Arrange his pillow
and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

· Don’t ask him questions
about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

· A good wife always knows her place.

Housekeeping Monthly 13 May 1955


Bowleserised said...

Hmmm, if those housewives cooked their husbands their favourite meal every night, I'm sure it would be something like steak and chips and cream sauce and the husbands would die young of nasty heart attacks.

Though maybe that was the point.

Annie said...

I would quite like a 1950s wife...

Taiga the Fox said...

I would have been a really crap 1950s wife.

The kids: Mum! We WANT to play the Internet game NOW!!!
T Fox: Shut up. I am at the computer.
Mr Fox: Shall you help me making the dinner?
T Fox: Shut up. I am at the computer.

Occasional Poster of Comments said...

I don't think I'd like a 50s wife. Actually, I know I wouldn't. My ex decided to behave like that once. Not sure why. [Briefly casts mind back...] That was a very odd and unsettling hour or so.

Sopwith-Camel said...

For some reason, it all sounded like one of the old-fashioned text adventure games. When you've done all those things, what's the next level like?

"On the castle battlements is a bar of soap"
>Take Soap
"You are carrying a bar of soap"
>Eat soap
"You choke to death on a bar of soap."

All true, from a game by Conrad Jacobsen on the old Dragon32. It was my youngest brother who ate the soap. I didn't, I just left it there on the floor, and two turns later I slipped on a bar of soap laying on the floor and plummeted to my death.

Your harriet housewife game sounds a bit more logical.

miss-cellany said...

I should like to wear the clothes and have the hair of a 1950s wife. That is all.

My indignant 'breadwinner' husband could then send me back here pronto for being a failure and clearly not knowing my place, but I'd look quite cool and wouldn't mind..

BiB said...

Taiga, I guffawed for ages at your perfect-mum comments. I'd be hopeless at sharing the computer too.

But I think I'm with Annie. I'd like one of those 50s wives as well.

Taiga the Fox said...

You know, I once tried to be a Perfect Mum and tried occasionally have dinner ready, but... hmm, actually I'd really much like to try that wife. At least for an odd hour, before it would be like this:

Wife: Is your pillow soft enough?
T Fox: Eat soap. I'm at the computer.

100 Words said...

Where's the bit about threesomes in that guide?

Taiga the Fox said...

Which threesomes? Have you been inspired by the BiB's wishes for the Finnish polygamy?

Hmm. I suppose it's somewhere in between Arrange his pillow - Don’t ask him questions and A good wife always knows her place - sections.