Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Finnish Weather Explained

+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.
The Finns are out getting a tan.

+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying to start their central heating.
The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start.
The Finns are cruising in Cabriolets.

0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes.
The water in the Finnish rivers gets a little thicker.

-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start heating their houses.
The Finns start using long sleeves.

-20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.

-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C / -40°F
Paris starts cracking in the cold.
The Finns stand in line at the "grill-kiosk".

-50°C / -58°F
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-60°C / -76°F
Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.
The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

-70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south.
The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors.
The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don't survive.
The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

-273°C / -459.4°F
All atom-based movent halts.
The Finns start saying "Perkele, it's cold outside today."

-300°C / -508°F
Hell freezes over.
Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.

Bah. I used an old joke. Typical.


Taiga the Fox said...

And apparently I didn't allow any comments either. I found your comments elsewhere :)

Sopwith-Camel said...

I came by earlier to comment and found the door locked, so I assumed you were up to a bit of the other.

Now you've finished, at what level in Finland do the Brass Monkeys start to suffer?

Taiga the Fox said...

Well, I'm not sure, but if the hell is now frozen over, and I still don't know what exactly are the Brass Monkeys, it must be somewhere beoynd that.

Sopwith-Camel said...

There is an English saying :- "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey"

Fi said...

Loving this